Anger and frustration

Well, it seems like I am experiencing a little anger, after all.  Not anger at any one individual.  I am becoming increasingly angry about how the issue of pregancy loss, both miscarriage and stillbirth, seems to be neglected and devalued by our society at large, including the medical profession.  I am wondering just how many babies have to die, and how many families have to endure untold pain and suffering, before due attention is paid to this issue.  In a society of our wealth and resources, you would think that a little more could be directed at saving the lives of our unborn children and protecting the health of pregnant women.  In the past few weeks, I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about these issues.  I have been astounded to learn how common certain disorders that may contribute to pregnancy loss are.  In particular, I have to wonder why women aren't screened for some of these risk factors preemptively.  How much could it cost?  I had to lose one child in an early miscarriage, and lose my unborn daughter at 31 weeks.  This earned me an evaluation for risk factors for pregnancy loss.  Isn't that too high a price to pay?!  I now have to wonder if my daughter's death could have been prevented with more extensive screening for these risk factors. 

I recently learned of a website called "Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope."  See their link on the right side.  The women featured on this website share their stories to raise awareness of issues related to miscarriage and infant loss.  I give these mothers so much credit for sharing their private heartbreak in a public forum.  Other women, and men too, need to hear about these issues, which are all too common.  Please consider visiting the website and reading some of the stories.

In spite of what I believe to be legitimate anger and frustration, I constantly remind myself that nothing can bring Angeline back.  Time is passing.  It has been more than two weeks since I held her and said goodbye.  We received her ashes and brought her home.  The prevailing wisdom among many of those around me seems to be that it will help me to get my mind off of this a little.  I have tried following my own advice from my last post.  We have gotten out of the house now and then, tried to distract ourselves in various ways.  I still feel that I could think about what has happened every minute of the day, but I know this won't change anything.  It is time to try to pick up the pieces and start putting my life back together.