Passage of time

This week will mark another milestone.

At this time last year, I had a teeny, tiny Angeline inside of me - I just didn't know it yet. It would be a few days later that I saw the two pink lines. Then came the lab visits for beta-HCG levels and anxiously awaiting phone calls from my doctor's office. They were all good, rising perfectly! Thus began the happiest time of my life.

The greatest joy of my life came to an abrupt and devastating end on December 29th, 2010. We are now approaching the 6 month mark. Although I delivered Angeline on December 31st, it is the 29th that will be the painful anniversary of her death. I have decided that this will always be our day of mourning, and we will try to celebrate her life on the 31st.

It always amazes me how much can happen in a year. For me (for us), this year has included the highest high and the lowest low. I am humbling asking God to please, please let this next year show us a light at the end of this long, lonely tunnel. I am praying that we will be able to look back on June 2011 and say, "Do your remember how hopeless and sad we felt? And now, see how happy we are?" Of course, I know very well that this isn't completely realistic, and I also don't think we'll be "happy" in the strictest sense, but maybe we will have more to be happy about. I am hoping that at some point, something really gives us joy again. I know it happens for other people who have been where we are, so maybe it will happen to us, too.